Time management

I think I have fantastic time management. I have managed to finish up 4 presentations and about several dozens requests by my clients within two weeks.

Yeah yeah, I had to stay till past nine p.m on some days but who cares, I finished them right?

Yeah yeah, I had to work late till one a.m. like now but who cares, I finished them right?

Yeah yeah, I had absolutely no time to breath except a few quick trips to the loo but how cares, I finished them right?

Yeah yeah, I O.D. on caffeine and got gastroenteritis & heartburn but who cares, I finished them right?

Clients are happy, management is happy and so I am happy. Crap. Do I have to do this for the remaining 29 years of my working life?

And then I forgot.

I was just surfing around and suddenly had this urge to look at my old blog entries. Looking at them, I realized how time flies. 3 years just literally disappeared with a blink of eye. Fine, many blinks. 

Looking at them, needless to say, I miss life back then. The place. And all the people. But, I've also realized that there were things in there that I did not remember saying. And of the things that I remembered, there were no traces of them in there. 3 years from now, what would I remember? If I look back at this entry, would it be like reading a stranger's ruminations?

I can't help but wonder too...what if. All the what if that ran through my mind. Life works in a mystifying way that we mere beings won't be able to understand. 

Amazing. 

Unexpected-ness

OMG. I thought I would died by Monday. Miraculously (& unexpectedly), I'm still alive. Though hanging by a thread *a really really thin one*. Thought I would have cracked but unexpectedly, did not.

I thought I will have a peaceful Tuesday & Wednesday. Unexpectedly, saw some emails that just screwed up my entire coming week. Then, saw some idiotic people's mistakes. Which then screwed up my night. Which then caused me to be insomnic again. Unexpectedly insomnic as I was actually dead tired 4 hours ago.

But I guess the most unexpected thing for this week - or perhaps this past year - is that the most unexpected thing will take place when the unexpected was something that you actually expected in this first place but seems to be so unexpected that you do not think it's expected anymore. In short, I've saw the most unexpected being in the most unexpected place in the most expected manner. Which brought my distress (note: NOT eustress) & ready-to-crack-feelings to a whole new level.

Expected, isn't it?

Honestly...

Honestly...it's been a year since my last post. Which explains why I can't find where the heck is the word/ icon for a new post.

Honestly...I have absolutely no idea why am I writing (or rather rambling) here. Maybe it's after reading my other half's (you know who you are <3) blog ="">

Honestly...I do not know what have I done since I left tots tots. It's like living a dreaded nightmare every single day. Fine, fine it's not a nightmare. But definitely a dreaded not-so-good-dream-kinda-thing

Honestly....I am not even sure of what is the plan for myself.

Honestly...I am seriously contemplating of going back to studies. or at least going back to something that I *really, really* love. Or is it just me looking for an excuse?

Honestly...it got me thinking that I am not a good friend as I thought I was. Perhaps I take things for granted. Now that I miss them, I am not even sure if they care. 

Honestly...I JUST love my girls. I was going to categorize them (you know, like girlfriends for life, girlfriends from college) but nope, not going to do it. Cause I love all of you. Serena, Junie, AW, Lainez, Yen, SY, KT, Mei Yum, Mei Yoong, Ryn, GY. And also YL & Shafeera cause both of you are part of who I am. Gosh...that's a long list. But, when was the last time I saw them? Useless of me but still, love you. 

Honestly....I love my guys too. Nick, Adrian, Jason. And yes yes, Freddy, Eric & Joel too =) And yes yes yes, Aaron Khoo.

Honestly...if you are reading this and you did not see your name, I love and thank you too (only if I really know you and you are not some stranger who chance upon this obsolete thing =) ). Simply because you were & are part of my life. 

Honestly....I think I'm somehow still stuck in Adelaide. Too much yearning I guess.

Honestly...I am the most un-pious person that I can think of right now. 

Honestly...I wonder why does He treat me so nice. Time and time again, He will pull me back to Him. And yet it seems, time and time again...I will drift away. Lord, please forgive me. Can you pretty, pretty please show me the way? 

Honestly...I have to stop talking and start listening more to Him. Stop planning and ask what are His plans for me. 

Honestly...I have nothing else to say.

Honestly...it's really hard to continue the sentence after "honestly" without using the word "I".

Honestly...I (see, told you so) should stop now and go to sleep. Else, go through another unproductive, unhappy, un-awake day at my living nightmare. 

Honestly...how did you even get here with all the nonsensical, hormone *imbalance*-induced, all-over-the-place ramblings of mine?

Thank you.